The list got smaller every year
but now it’s getting bigger
I’m a wizard with ribbons
I’m running with scissors
All these searches for presents
Messed up my algorithms
Causing schisms from side bar
Ads, feel my abs
Through my amassing fat
I am sorry I snapped
I push it down when I feel sad - so I seem unsentimental
Get the train to the city
And shop
Til we stop shopping
With you
It’s easy

You say you don’t like Christmas songs
And that is fine
now neither to I
No mistletoe, no wine

Wrapping presents at book club
There’s no time in the run up
exhaustion especially in my chest and my stomach
Oh, I don’t know what to get her
Maybe a nice scarf with bees on
There’s fleas on the cat
But a frisson on the stairs

You say you don’t like Christmas songs
And that is fine
And now neither to I
No mistletoe, no wine
You say you don’t like Christmas songs
They make you kind of afraid
In funny little ways
No Wham!, Low or Slade

Each and every year he gets socks
She likes hedgehogs, beads, precious rocks
He’ll have a graphic novel and a sweatshirt
He won’t read a book if it’s all words
I heard by brain shouting “this is all junk”
Dump my basket, hat and deck wear
Run out John Lewis with panicked veins
A list of un-crossed names, dipping dopamines
It’s raining outside HiYou Supermarket
And on Stowell Street and an in my heart
I hear the whispers of my ancestors
But they don’t get it and I won’t answer
Later warm and drunk on Amaretto
In the sitting room with you
You say it’s alright,
and I know it is alright too

You say you don’t like Christmas songs
But now you’re falling in love with Christmas
You don’t like Christmas songs
But now you’re falling in love with Christmas
You don’t like Christmas songs
But now you’re falling in love with Christmas
Again

You say you don’t like Christmas songs
But now you’re falling in love with Christmas
You don’t like Christmas songs
But now you’re falling in love with Christmas
You don’t like Christmas songs
But now you’re falling in love with Christmas
Again

You say you don’t like Christmas songs
Not even Chris de Burgh
You say you’ve never heard
A story so absurd