It’s Black Eye Friday
An' I’ve shifting memories
I want to sober up
I wish I’d sober up

The nights are darker
An’ I slipped and hurt my knee
I wish I’d sober up
I want to sober up

Take off your work ID
Get cosy
Your picture fading
Your face getting greyer
In contrast with the shop lights
All tinsel and lasers
That guy in the market’s
Selling chestnuts again
Pop to TJ Hughes
It’s a break from the booze
For festive socks
A twelve thirty start
Is a complicated art
When you’re staying off halves
And cordials
It’s par for remorse
For mortals

It’s Black Eye Friday
An I’ve shifting memories
I want to sober up
I wish I’d sober up

The nights are darker
An’ I slipped and hurt my knee
I wish I’d sober up
I want to sober up

This was easier in my twenties
All hail, the heroic ten-pint Johannes
The beer’s got stronger
My constitution weaker
I sneak out to a stall
Close eyes breath deeper
Skulk back meeker
With plans to disappear
Saying “I just feel funny standing next to this heater
I’ll be back in five, need something to eat or
Just maybe I’ll have a little sit on the street there” cos

It’s Black Eye Friday
An I’ve fractured memories
I want to sober up
I wish I’d sober up

The nights are darker
An’ I slipped and hurt my knee
I wish I’d sober up
I want to sober up

And I think later
While swaying in the chippy
Maybe this is the true point of Christmas
To make yourself defenseless
And I’m sorry if my head rested
Lingered too long on your shoulder
Like the mean jokes that I told you
Both unwanted and unexpected

Left my bag under the pool table
Split quick tripped on my shoelaces
Slipped the group and chose to walk home
Taxi queue was like a war zone
And the ones that have their lights on
Don’t stop if you can’t keep a straight line
Please don’t bring back two for one wines, next year
I’ll book my pick up for safe time