1. |
Karaoke Classic
02:45
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You’re like the softest cactus spikes
Stuck on me tonight
The softest cactus spikes
Stuck on me tonight
Stuck on me tonight
My straw drawing
From a cold cup a Sprite
That’s mostly ice
Fireworks tonight
Out over the water
I hid at the back
But got pushed forward
“Any Karaoke fans here?”
They pick on the awkward
Took matters from my hands
While you were busy talking
On the phone to Glen again
Can’t he fix it himself?
Don’t he know it’s Saturday?
Had the choice of two
No clue what to do
Caught your eye at last
As they said “your time’s passed”
Panicked
And went for the Billy Joel Classic
Your facial features
Collapsed, flipped
and reassembled
Mouth round
brows hid behind fringe
lips trembled
You might be right
Just the way you are
Don’t ask me why
Don’t ask me why
You might be right
Just the way you are
Don’t ask me why
Don’t ask me why
From the first line
I knew I was in trouble
He sings so high
But somehow not in falsetto
Sang the oh oh ohs
With difficultee ee ees
The booes began
As I confirmed my downtown status
Even the swans on the lake looked real angry
Amassed and moved on in to join the haters
On the front row
Still so much song to go
This check shirted type was starting for a fight
As you took up the spare mic
Saved the night if not my life
Me a vague baritone
You belting out the treble
I didn’t know
If I’d be out on this weekend
And the way the meal went
I’d start to regret it
Fed up at always making
The conversation
One an eye on your phone
Hid under the table
If I fall I fall deep
Like a comic fable
I forget it with your laugh here
Is that top cashmere?
You’re like the softest cactus spikes
Stuck on me tonight
The softest cactus spikes
Stuck on me tonight
Stuck on me tonight
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2. |
Office Oracle
02:40
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I lost my phone
And didn’t look for it
Until Monday morning
I’d had nobody to be calling anyway
Just listened to birdsong on the walk in
To the office, it was obvious
From the faces turned away
Kitchen silence as I made my first cup of tea
Confronted Amy over our sandwiches
No, I didn’t really miss it
I’d mainly just been reading
Murakami
Eating vegan salami
So Amy didn’t know much about the others
But said she’s been feeling really awkward
And strained
Since my message on the weekend
And though she didn’t want to talk about it
I was right on reflection, and she’d already changed
Then came James, at five
Says can I have a word, of course yeah
Got in his bronze coloured Corsa
Ignore John’s stares
Apparently my text had a profound effect
He felt it needed to be said
With tears on the brims of his eyelids
He pulled me close and held me tightly
I’d still lost my phone
I’d still lost my phone
No, I didn’t really miss it
The cat was mostly home
I listened late to the wireless
repeated mysteries and dramas
It was all super super weird
What I’d thought was hostility was just shyness
By Wednesday it was all shoulder punches and smiling
I ate at my desk
kept my head down
It seemed they’d all had epiphanies
Brought on by sage advice from me
Admitted they were the problem
Quit booze or left abusive partners
Made huge decisions with confidence and precision
Leaps into the unknown
With new pronouns
Redefined horizons, wedding’s postponed
All cos of my lost phone
Troubles came when I found it
Scratched on the floor in the pub carpark
Heavy with unread messages, notifications,
And unachievable expectations
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3. |
A Drift
02:44
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Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out further
If you rest on your back
The sharks won’t attack
Misjudged my abilities
Blind to my fragilities
I’d borrowed a wet suit
We’d swam as a group
Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out further
I hung at the back
Tracking the sand bank
My thoughts started to drift
Back at work on the morning
A meeting at nine
That I’d done no prep for an’
The report that I’d started
Was more than I’d bargained
For and was due before five
Gotta to pick the kids up
Make their mum think I’m thriving
Right last week’s mix up
Get tea, take them climbing
The sun was blinding
I lost my mind
I lost my bearings
The sun was blinding
I lost my mind
I lost my bearings
Although the surface
Was flat
I saw no splash from my buddy
The resting tanker was close
The coast far and fuzzy
I Swam out deep
Swam out deep
Swam out deep
Swam out further
Swam out deep
Swam out deep
Swam out deep
I learnt in wild swim class
Not to panic or sit tight
Knew from the speed, the debris
I was caught in a rip tide
A mouth full of brine
But “don’t fight the current”
Swim perpendicular
A solicitor’s ridiculous
We loved each other remember
I didn’t expect the letter
Or spring tides in September
Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out further
Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out further
Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out deep
Swim out further
Swim out deep
I saw the gulls first
Then the hull of the small trawler
Raised my hand called out
Hauled out bawling
Harbour wall kids waved
I managed a small thumbs up
Dropped on the dock
Walked the two miles back
Leaving a trail
Wet through
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Faithful Johannes Durham, UK
Sincerity Rapper.
Electronic Sound - ‘The Alan Bennett of Hip
Hop’.
Tom Robinson (BBC 6MUSIC) - ‘a great artist’, ‘a rivetingly charismatic live performer’ and ‘if you have any chance at all, see him live’.
Deb Grant (BBC 6 Music / Jazz FM) - ‘clever and authentic and really affecting’.
... more
Faithful Johannes recommends:
The Fall of Man
by Burgundy Blood
rhymes rhymes rhymes.
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The Circle Dance EP
by Me Lost Me
Switch of the light and lie on the carpet.
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